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A Clean Bill of Health

First I’d like to start with a disclaimer:

I am not a doctor nor am I giving any medical advise or any diagnoses.

After a health scare I decided to encourage others to get a physical (well visit), blood tests and  regular Sexually Transmitted Disease tests.  Yes even if you’re not having sex.

Even if you’re not have sex you say?

Yes. Even if you’re not having sex.

Now, why would I say this?  Good question!  Mononucleosis (Mono) can be transmitted sexually and nonsexually. Although I am a  visible siren… I don’t live up to the look I portray.  My boyfriend tells me I don’t have to portray anything because I have the automatic “f*** me” walk. I don’t dress va vavoomish  unless the occasion calls for it (like a night at a club) and yes I keep it classy.  Anywho, back to the lecture at hand, taking care of your health which includes regular S.T.D  testing.

I had a recent scare where two of my lymph nodes painfully swell to the size of a dime and a half-dollar on my neck. I didn’t understand what was wrong.  I had all sorts of symptoms that could have been diagnosed as anything.  I went on site after site trying to do the process of elimination from Sexually Transmitted Disease (S.T.D) to cancer, from lyme disease to rheumatic fever.  I thought the worst and swore I was dying.  I spent my nights talking to God telling him about how I would make my peace with Him and my enemies.

I’ve had an S.T.D testing every 6 months to a year even during my celibacy period. Oh and  the celibacy period was the most amusing… the looks on people’s faces when I told them I  was being celibate. Some had actual looks of distress on their face like to say how is that possible.

I call my boyfriend and told of my concerns. He encouraged me to go to a doctor. Stubborn as I am, it took a trip to the emergency room, a range diagnosis of Lymphogenitis and a scheduled follow-up visit for me to go to a specialist.  Being my boyfriend was part of my support group I called him later keeping him updated on the whole debacle.   My boyfriend was there every step of the way encouraging me and supporting me even as I was in excruciating pain.

When the doctor’s visit came the subject of mono came up.   My head went back to the girl who prayed for me after class. And that little  eight year old that couldn’t seem to keep his little paws off me.  I had to call for help since he was already half my size at eight.  I thought of how much more cautious on hand touching than Donald Trump!  Well long story short my blood tests came out PERFECT.

After I got the results, I called my boyfriend and told him the good news “I’m not dying.  According to my blood test, I’m the healthiest sick person ever.” I was prescribe antibiotics (prior to test results), steroids and painkillers for my swollen lymph nodes and in return a clean bill of health and a talking to from my doctor so that I could get more answers. Personally, I think it’s caused from my cat who scratched me near that area or over exposure to toxic chemicals… don’t ask.

Although, I went to a web site to find out what could be  wrong with me, there wasn’t anything as relieving and comforting to the psyche as having been tested.


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